After knowing him for over 2 years now, I'm hoping he's the one. I can also use the hashtag iranawaywiththebestman. My guy is 11years older than me. The only issue that I can think of that has to do with his age, would be his friends. I'm not used to hanging out with people their age and they tend to intimidate me. My boyfriend is 14 years older than me. My husband is 10 and a half years older than me and it's actually never been an issue.
My parents were concerned when we first started dating I was pretty young but after they got to know him it wasn't an issue any more. He's an amazing man who loves and takes care of me. More mature than men my age, is at the same spot in life as me I had kids early, and have a stable career early , wants similar things on a similar timeline. More honesty, less drama. I'm worried that after feeling this much love for and from one person, that I will have to spend the end of my life without them.
I've always been more mature than people my own age, so I never really felt like I belonged. With him I do. He tells me he loves me all the time and does a lot of those little things that matter, you know? He also sometimes says that, since we are together, he now has something to work towards. Previously, he would just wake up, work and go back to bed. Now, we are planning to move out of his apartment, get a nice house and have children at some point. He is also a lot more willing to work on his health since he met me. Memes on my part, and movie references on his.
We try to explain it to each other, but it doesn't always work. The fact that I know I will outlive him by a long shot is also a big con. It makes me sad to think about, but we are trying to get his health back on track to prevent this from happening too soon This is all I could think of for now: I love him so, so much. Thank you for reminding me about that, I going to text him now to tell him: I always hung out with older people anyway. We had similar mindsets on marriage, kids and most life stuff.
My wife was pretty awesome and already had a house. As a result my mortgage is roughly a third of my schoolmates. We had kids early partly due to her age which means I was a young dad. I like a bunch of 80s music so that works well. They are now having kids, mine are 8 and 3.
I honestly rarely notice anything being different. We're pretty much the exact same person in every way. The only way we differ is in conflicts. My SO is quick to react and can be quite hot headed and confrontational if someone pisses her off. Depends on where you both are in life. If you found someone like that now, it would be like dating a child.
By the time we met, he had already been married for ten years and divorced. He'd escaped a cult. He had a middle-school aged daughter. He'd briefly lived in Europe and been in a successful band. The gap in our life experiences can cause some rifts sometimes. He tends to discredit my opinions on things because I haven't lived as much as he has. His divorce has jaded him pretty severely toward relationships his newest focus being the MGTOW movement. Its also hard because, due to divorce, he wasn't financially stable or established in his life.
He was completely starting over, too. But I think I help him look at things with fresh eyes and remind him that he doesn't know everything and hat some things are worth another shot. He's introduced me to a lot of neat nostalgia that I wouldn't have known about otherwise. He's lived in the city we live in now for almost 20 years, so he was able to introduce it to me in a way I may not have been able to find on my own.
I've been able to build a super cool and close relationship with his daughter, who lives with us half of every week. Especially with a man engaged in a nasty custody battle and a bitter divorce. If I do ever date again, which I don't really intend to, I would find someone my age. My girlfriend is 20 and I'm Anyway, I took her out to dinner last week, and all I got was dirty looks from people. Kind of ruined our year anniversary. I have friends in a similar situation. He's 45, she's They say it was a bigger deal when they were younger dated when she was 16, married at 18 but now it doesn't make a difference.
Except that she struggles with acne, so she looks young. And their 2 teenage daughters bear a strinking resemblance to her, so they usually get mistaken as father with 3 daughters. All 4 of them cringe everytime. One thing I loved was that he was tech savvy but not attached to his phone. On our dates phones were never out and he was not obsessed with social media.
The con was kids - he had already had a vasectomy, and I still want to have kids. We were basically Monica and Richard from Friends. I've had a couple older boyfriends and a pro is that I feel like they know how to take a girl out on a proper date. No hangouts or vague lines. I think you're cute, can I take you out?
And then a dinner or drinks where he picks me up and pays. Not talking about a sugar daddy thing Curious to hear about the guys in a relationship with older women. Seems like such a 'taboo' thing in society when it's literally no different than the other way round. Y bf is 29 years older than me. He's got many decades of life experience from living and the jobs he's done.
He's not into prtying, going out drinking or doing drugs or actin out. The only cons, imho, is his life experience came with life injuries so he's limited. My husband is ten years older than me and I find him to be rather lazy and complacent. Mine is less than 10, but I dated a guy who was 9 years older than I was. I have always been more mature than others my age, so it felt the same as dating a peer for me. However, things fell apart when he decided to go back to drinking.
Apparently it was a problem in the past too, and he did warn me. I feel bad that I didn't stick around to help him recover, but I really started feeling more like his babysitter and less like his partner. I got to talk about older movie and music references with someone who actually understood me, and I felt for the first time that I was in a really adult relationship which felt great for me. I relied on his maturity, so when that disappeared, it felt that much worse because I had a really high expectation of him due to his age.
Non-monogamous, so I get an interesting POV on this one. I have one "close friend" who is 10 years older than me, and another that is 10 years younger than me. We have enough in common that we could all hang out, but our schedules have never coincided. The older one keeps me stable. He has seen a lot of shit, withstood a lot of shit, and can handle when I have a bad day.
He is very much my choice to go home with after work, have a few drinks, work out a few kinks, and just chill. The younger one keeps me on my toes. Up at the crack of dawn, constantly full of energy, and is always down for whatever. If I could, I'd go hiking with him every morning after we had coffee on the balcony.
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My boyfriend is 25 years older than I am. He has a very interesting life. He has a house filled with nice, high quality furniture and artwork, whereas I only have a studio apartment filled with furniture from Ikea. I tried to explain the difficulty of job searching, but he thought it was as simple as mailing in a resume. Not in one of these relationships myself.. I'll give a pro and a con that I've noticed.
Not me but my mom, she is 15 years younger than my step-dad. The big thing right now is my step will most likely die within the next 2 to 4 years. This will leave my mom a widow at before the age of If she lives even into her mid 80's it will be a good 15 years give or take between when my step dad dies and when she dies. She had a good job and many years of experience to get great jobs. Owned a truck outright. She helped me out of my shell sexually, I was very inexperienced and was getting out of an abusive relationship, and she helped me gain confidence.
Also got me a ton of booze. She loved traveling and we went on long road trips, and talked for hours and hours. We agreed on pretty much everything, it was insane. She moved a lot, and worked a lot of seasonal gigs. She never wanted to settle for anything, and ended a marriage over it.
Also, the weird looks people would give us, and nobody taking our relationship seriously. In the end, I moved to Brooklyn and had to leave her on the west coast. Dated a guy 10 years younger than me. He was immature, unmotivated, expected his parents to take care of him for the rest of his life, wouldn't take advice from me, never wanted to do anything but game A lot of this was my fault but yeah I'm never going to date anyone that much younger than me again.
I can't really think of any pros other than I guess he was up to date on the latest memes? To be clear, he wasn't mean to me or abusive but I was over here trying to be a regular adult with a job and he was still trying to be a child. We did have fun but it wasn't enough to sustain anything real.
So my boyfriend and I have a 20 year age gap. But he cares for me and with the important things he ticks every box. What does it matter if he likes movies that are a little older than some movies I like. But you have to truly care about each other for it not to matter. For anyone wondering he is 44 and I am But hey it works. There was always interesting discussion because we had such different perspectives on everything. My girlfriend, even though she's 7 years younger than me, is very nice and kind. And is surprisingly experienced for a 10 year old so I would say the pros are limitless and the con is the risk of me going to jail for like 15 years.
I'm joking obviously don't start calling the cops on me. Familiarity with another age group's situation in society. Perspectives, new ideas one might not get otherwise. Granted, one could just talk to people of significantly differently-aged people, but a partner is often the one interacts with the most. We have a lot of the same interests so that sort of stuff has never been a problem. Another pro for me was that he had already finished university, found a good job, all that stuff, so he was able to give me great advice when it came to those things.
Filter posts by subject: Please use spoiler tags to hide spoilers. Welcome to Reddit, the front page of the internet. Become a Redditor and subscribe to one of thousands of communities. Want to add to the discussion? He's turning 24 soon. Not getting that reference. Thought i was gonna hurl but it came OTOH. I did the same for a girl friend 8 years younger, talk about evil shenanigans It was annoying at best.
Thanks again for the encouragement, random internet stranger! You really made my day! They're okay but they're not as funny as people make them out to be. Im 19, and i dont like memes that much. I love your username. Going for a yoga for men vibe. That's so embarrassing on his part. He was a nice guy You sure about this? Drove me fucking nuts. A 31 year old would be ok dating someone or older, so the 19 year old feels weird. It works surprisingly well. Average male life expectancy at birth was For women it was We were together for four years, and lived together for the last year before we broke up.
We met when I was 18, started dating when I turned 19—which made him 29 when we got together. My step mom got her fake ID taken away that night. Well since I'm here People talk A LOT of shit. He's the love of my life. I actually wrote about this a bit ago on another ask Reddit thread Best wishes to both of you: A friend mentioned it though.
Might check it out. The only downsides was she was very career oriented whereas I was a High School dropout with a GED just trying to get by. She eventually pushed me to go to college and essentially walked me step by step into going to school. We broke up shortly after my first term due to distance and because I didn't know how to maintain a relationship where we didn't see eachother often but I owe that woman pretty much everything.
Currently I'm 8 years older than my fiance and that has upsides too. I get to be the older person sharing wisdom and guidance when necessary and that's cool. Life is interesting because I'm essentially one life station ahead of her all the time. When she was in college I'd just graduated. When she started her career I had just finally landed my first "real" job.
This has simultaneously kept me feeling useful and kept me feeling younger than my years. But it still matters to her and I need to contribute more care because even though I don't think it's a big deal, it's a big deal to her and I need to take her seriously if I want this to be a healthy relationship. Also, my biological clock has started ticking loudly the last few years and she's still trying to decide if she's ready for kids and such.
I completely understand her hesitancy, but there's a voice in my head screaming that I'm running out of time to be a Dad while she's still getting ready. It's possibly one of the biggest issues we face currently in our relationship but because it's not a really "day to day" issue, we don't address it much. She might only have 27 years to my 24, but she's got 9 years in the adult world to my 6.
The proportions are wider in that context, and that context does make a big difference. I'm going to make a general statement, and I'm annoyed that I have to say this, but I understand that general statements don't apply person to person. Girls typically care more about status than guys do. She's dating me, and I'm 3 years younger, when she had other suitors who were as much as 3 and 4 years older.
Some guy in his early 20's going up against guys as old as 30's a huge deal. They had lots of time to establish themselves in the adult world. They had careers, they had cars, they had money. I didn't have a car, I didn't even have a plant for fuck's sake. I still managed to stand out to her, so I think that says something about how well we click. Sorry if this makes me sound like Rebecca black's lyricist, but people who are 18 were 17 last year.
It would be hard for me to trust that an 18 year old was removed from that enough just yet. I dated a 34 year old when I was 19, it was all cool except when we went out everyone assumed she was a hooker. We lived together for a bit over a year and ended up breaking up just because I knew deep down I wasn't that serious and had girls at work 10 years younger than her flirting with me and I didn't want to break up with her when she was 40 as I felt that would be unfair.
She was at a age where she really should of got married i dont think anyone wants to be single in their 40s while I was just starting out with dating and life in general and didn't want to settle down. Ohala was the duplicator. I can somewhat relate. I went on a date with this 32 year old Asian chick with fake boobies. Date went well, to say the least , as we ended up at a hotel. I felt like I was walking alongside a hooker, just because of the obvious age difference hate saying that because she was pretty awesome. At another time we went to a club, and I felt all the women were staring at us.
It was definitely an interesting experience. I've been with someone 15 years older than me, and at 18 people thought it was weird, but when you're 40 and they're 55 it sounds perfectly fine. My brother is married to a woman 15 years older than him, but it's the happiest he's ever been.
Sometimes his wife is exasperated because he doesn't understand why something is important, but he listens to her no matter what so it doesn't cause problems. However, it is usually considered very creepy and not quite right. I had a huge gap once, she was 27 and I was Stopped seeing her after realizing she was a compulsive liar with a mild case of schizophrenia and was still living with her parents.
The other stuff I understand, but people with schizophrenia dont ask to have it. They want to be normal like everyone else.
A little unfair to judge someone for having a mental illness they cant control. Imagine your brain, the one thing that basically makes you who you are, shit out on you. Not saying you should have stayed with her, but people need to be more understanding to people with mental illnesses. I agree people do need to be more understanding, but at the same time if someone admittedly can't handle it, it would be unfair to both parties to date someone knowing you can't provide proper support. When I was 34 I started seeing a girl who was We had a lot in common so the difference seemed irrelevant.
She ditched me because she wanted kids but knew that I didn't. When I was 39 I had a fling with a girl who was It was nice while it lasted, but it definitely wasn't long term. I still follow her on Facebook and we have little in common. When I was 43 I started seeing a 31 year old. Been living together now for 4. We have some things in common but it's an opposites-attract relationship. As with the first one I mentioned, the age difference is mostly irrelevant.
So my personal experience is that the half-your-age-plus-seven rule seems grounded in common sense. A big difference in age isn't in itself problematic. But once you get to the point where you're from two different generations e. While his youth was such a physical attraction, his life experiences where so far behind mine and rendered him very immature to me. And the biggest deal was that we did not appreciate the same music, tv shows or moments in time.
He said it did not affect him that way at all! When I was 21, I dated a guy who was It was nice dating someone who was serious and mature about relationships. I guess some people are only meant to be in your life for a certain amount of time. I dated a girl ten years younger than myself, she was She was incredibly attractive and she was into older guys and I needed the confidence boost.
She didn't "grasp" work and money. We broke up because I worked too much, one of the complaints was "you're gone for like ten hours every day how are we supposed to have a relationship". Nah she just hadn't been to work before and hadn't needed to pay for anything herself yet. Used to override my work stories with her college stories "omg i had to wake up at 9am today for an early class" and completely dismiss my "I worked for 14 hours today". Plenty of people can skate by without working in high school.
It's not like jobs for high schoolers pay much anyway. Couple hundred bucks a month doesn't make a big impact on your life. Just from experience having a partner under 20 when you're over thirty is weird, you forget how immature people are at that age. You don't want to be out with a girl and have to keep apologising for the things she does because she thought drinking 15 tequilas was a great idea. It wasn't that big a gap but at 32 I was seeing a 24 year old woman briefly.
She liked pubs but didn't like drinking, so she was definitely the mature one in that relationship. I'm just shy of 31 and my lower age floor is about Upper limit is much higher - up to 45 or so. I've been talking to a 29 year old on Match. I have a friend who is just a few weeks older than me, and he is more than happy to swipe on year olds on Tinder.
I am in my end 30s, for me it has nothing to do with approval etc. It is a matter of lifestyle and what I consider as attractive. Most women in my age have kids, and I don't want to raise the children of other men. Also, if they don't have kids they bring up the topic pretty fast. I would love to have kids, but at the moment my career is more important. Also, in my experience most women in my age range don't work out and have a passive lifestyle. Their body is an exact reflection of their habits. Sex with older women is "better", they have more experience, and know what they want.
With younger women it's more fun. They try themselves out, that generates a lot of sexual tension. From the woman's perspective, you're usually stuck caring for a doddering old man who can't control his bladder when you're still young enough to have fun, and then have 20 to 30 years of widowhood where the odds aren't in your favor unless you're a queer like me. When you're younger, you're stuck with someone who, while they may have money, will treat you with 10x less respect than men normally do which often isn't great in the first place , because they think you're young and stupid.
I agree with the taking care of an old man part. If the age gap is big, it can become an issue enventually. I find it interesting you say older men will treat you with 10x less respect. It might just be my experience but all older guys ive been with late 30's were the most respectful, not even comparable to guys my age. Maybe I just got lucky, but they were probably the most old-school and I would even say romantic guys ive been on a date with opening doors, brigning me flowers, always being nicely dressed, asking permission to kiss me ect..
Ime they start out romantic, but it eventually becomes clear that they think you're a bit of an idiot. More controlling in the long term, too. The young ones also have the same problems, but they don't have the experience necessary to hide it until you're invested. Younger girls and guys tend to be a bit less mature, so I like to judge on an individualized basis. Logically speaking, many people at that age don't want to be tied down, want to "live life," and explore different facets of life, whether they're sexual or not.
So it really depends on the person; I've met people younger than me who were more mature than people older than me I'm I think many guys see younger women as youthful, more outgoing, more fun, and like you said, they'll generally remain aesthetically pleasing for a longer window of time fluctuates depending on the person, but you know what I mean. Plus some people just have their turn one and attractions.
Why should someone be chastised for dating or having sex with someone a decade or two or even more younger than them if they're both legal adults? Some guys are also into older women a prime example being the whole MILF category , but that isn't deemed perverse by society, or as perverse as an older guy wanting a younger but legal girl. They take it out on guys wanting more aesthetically pleasing females many of which tend to be younger by calling them perverts and pedos.
Yet when middle aged women were drooling over the guys from Twilight, it was A-OK. I personally don't judge solely by age; rather, I judge by a myriad of variables when it comes to dating well, I'm married, so it's hypothetical. They all play a role. I've seen some women in their 30s and 40s who look better than girls in their late teens or early 20s. Look at Marisa Tomei as a perfect example; she's 52 and absolutely stunning.
I do enjoy their youth. I enjoy the tightness and beauty of a youthful body. It is an ego boost to have a beautiful young woman interested in me despite my age. The sex is better in my experience mostly because of less hangups, more energy, more willingness to try things. And I also like how younger women often spend more time on their appearance.
But I've also got other reasons for preferring relationships with younger women. I'm a bit of a kid still. I've never been married and have no children and don't want to ever have children.
I like having the freedom to just up and decide to take a trip to Asia or Europe or wherever I might want without having commitments tying me down. I like staying up and watching movies all night long or reading a good book until 4AM or playing video games for hours on end when I feel like it. Younger women are in a similar place and we're working from a similar mindset when it comes to those sorts of things.
There are some generational things that we don't understand about each other that come up but in my experience those are way over stated by most people at least in cases like mine where in many ways I'm basically a 39 year old young adult. Would you mind telling us how the two of you met? Met in Art History class I'm mostly retired and I was taking undergrad art history stuff for fun. She invited me to her place after one of our group project meetings and I was more than happy to accept.
We did the FWB thing for a few months until we actually realized we really liked each other and then started dating officially. So you're a fun retired 39 year old dating someone half his age? I will happily accept that description. And yeah, it's a pretty good life. Her friends have been mostly cool about it. Her guy friends seem to have the most trouble honestly. But it's been generally fine. I've only met her family once and it was awkward. They're horrible people though so I honestly don't care what they think. Isn't it a bit awkward hanging out with a bunch of 19 year olds? I'm 23 and most 19 year olds I have encountered seem extremely young to me.
But yeah, some of her friends can be draining or just silly. It's not like I hang out with them every day or anything though. I've got my own friends, she's got hers. I've got no problems with her hanging out with them without me which is what often happens. Honestly college age people can be fun to talk to they're so into their topics of interest.
And we do share some topics of interest like console gaming. I also spend a fair amount of time in undergrad courses of various subjects sort of a hobby of mine so I'm used to being around people her age. I was just curious because I can remember how silly a bunch of 19 year old girls can be. Was happy to answer. This is probably awful sounding but it's one of the more healthy relationships I've been in, which isn't saying a lot I guess given my history but it's still true.
It sounds pretty balanced. I think the main concern with relationships that have a large age gap is that the older partner will control their younger partner or take advantage of their inexperience but it sounds like that doesn't apply in your case. It sounds like you are both happy and are healthily independent but still connected. How awesome is it to be retired at 39, dating a girl you're super into and traveling around the world?
Sounds ideal to me! So I looked at this and read another one of your posts Hard to say, I'm not a psychologist. I do know I'm not the first older guy that she's dated. But according to her that's not unusual where she's from. Most girls my age 27 looks like they could be in their mid-thirties. Very rare to see anyone actively exercising and taking care of themselves.
They look exhausted, still drinking every weekend since they were 16 and the amount of junk food that follows the festivities. I look good for my age, fit body, and I go for girls in their twenties that have the same preferences as me. I'm disgusted by the amount of girls my age that takes such little care of themselves. That's why I go for younger girls. I actually have the chance to do so because of the choices I've made.
I love how girls my age comes up to me looking like a chubby, exhausted party bimbo and expects me to pay her attention. The same applies for women as well. They'd pick Ryan Gosling over Zach Galifianakis any day of the week. Obviously I'm sure this applies to a lot of men too, but I'm on dating sites and apps to meet women so its not as visible for me.
If anything its a take-away lesson for younger people, "Don't let yourself get fat and your odds of finding good partners goes up" harsh but true. Yeah, in LA, 30 is the new A lot of very good-looking, fit, stylish women in their 30s here. You sound like an asshole. Ain't it the darndest thing First time reading an internet comment that wasn't particularly directed at you? Oh I know, lets disagree with him while calling him an asshole.
You're the embodiment of hypocrisy. Looking through your comment history, I'm afraid to tell you that it seems you've been a cocklord for quite some time. So it sounds like you're in your 20s, and you're dating girls who are also in their 20s but slightly younger than you? Not much of an age gap. Unless you're dating 16 year olds or something. Meh, cut him a little slack. He may have focused on one gender, but between ages 21 and 28, you can really notice who keeps up the diet and exercise and who practices binge drinking like it's a sport. By 28, the partiers really do look like dog shit before their time.
Nah, he was a total dick about it. I take care of myself and look very good. I would not date a woman who didn't take care of herself. I still wouldn't sneer at or talk shit about a woman who hit on me and didn't look very good. I'm 30 and generally date women in their early 20s, my last girlfriend was I'm attractive, I work out daily, have a good job, own my car and my house.
I'm doing alright for myself. Most women my age are either married, have kids, have metric fuck tons of baggage, or haven't taken care of themselves at all. I don't want kids so that eliminates the majority of women my age from my dating pool. I want to be with someone who takes care of themselves and is physically attractive so that kills another good sized portion of the dating pool for women my age.
I don't want to have to deal with baggage from previous relationships or other hang ups either. If I happen to meet someone my age who fits all of my criteria I'd date her but there are far more women in their early 20s who are into the same things I am, fit my criteria, and are interested in me.
I never got along so well with anyone else in my life. Well, fine with me, im only I've had a vasectomy, so if I'm dating someone who starts to want kids that's definitely going to cause a breakup. I also don't want to get married so if I'm with someone who wants to get married eventually then it's not going to work out. I'd be content to be with someone for the rest of my life if we love each other but on the off chance something happens and that changes I don't want her to be legally entitled to half my shit lol.
For your situation take what he says at face value. If he won't give you a solid yes or no I'd encourage you not to date someone on the off chance they'll decide to say yes to kids and marriage in five or ten years if those things are important to you. In my experience when guys say they're not sure about marriage and kids that's leaning towards no but they don't want to say it.
Just my opinion though.
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I could go on about how many interests we share and how great the sex is but the fact of the matter is we're a really good match. I'm not trying to get married and start a family right now and I like going out. She had a rougher go as a kid than I did and definitely grew up faster than I did so it seems like my extra years of experience are evened out by our shared sense of maturity. People like who they like. I think it's only alarming if the power dynamic is imbalanced due to the age outside of, say, that being a mutual sexual preference or something.
In our case, it's not. I'm 32 and generally more attracted to women who are about ten years younger than I am to women close to my age. A big part of that is physical appearance. There certainly are women my age who look amazing Also, a great looking 22 year old will always look better than a great looking 32 year old. It's not something I can change; this attraction is simply there. I look at 18, 19, 20 year olds and think they're the most attractive women out there. Another big reason is the fact that I'm not looking to settle down yet. I don't want to get married ever and I don't want to have children.
Those are things that often aren't even on a girl's mind in her early twenties or if they are, she's not actively planning them or not sure about what she wants in that regard. That's wholly different with women my age. I'm also not ready to live together soon, which is something that younger girls are not in a rush about. I also LOVE younger women's attitude toward relationships and life in general. They don't have a lot of bagage.
Women my age can be very cynical about relationships, love and men. Younger women tend to be more positive, more carefree, more easygoing. They're more open to trying new things, they're not set in their ways yet. They have an energy that's refreshing. I don't care that they're in "different life stages". If she's in college and I'm working, we can still take an active interest in each others' lives.
Guys - Would you date a woman years older than you? - ofajevicozah.tk Community Forums
It often makes picking a date easier as they're not bound to a rigid schedule. I like the contrast of those different life stages. It keeps things fun and exciting.